Strangeness and Dreamthink

A quietly intense sunset last night. A storm is coming our way that's meant to last several days. No more clear skies for a while.

Because it's to get snowy and blustery, David and I went out to dinner last night. On New Year's Eve we'll stay home. That probably makes us sound like fuddy-duddies. But I really wanted some time to walk around the Santa Fe Plaza to see the lights. This is not nearly so much fun in bad weather. We had drinks at one of our favorite bars and then dinner at Luminaria. This way we got to indulge in their really wonderful menu and not be limited to the New Year's Eve prix fixe menus everyone does, which never seem to be as good. And we didn't have to worry about road stops or drunk drivers. Friday night we'll do our little tradition of lots of hors d'oeuvres and non-stop movies.

We're simple souls, I suppose.

Yesterday I mentioned that I hadn't even thought about any of my now-several works in progress. Marcella (who I see hasn't posted to her own blog since November 9, but her first book just came out, so she can be forgiven) asked me what it was like for me, getting back into it.

Specifically, she asked me if it looked a bit strange at first. Which was funny to me because it really did.

I opened up Sapphire, read the first line, which I'd last read - and edited - just a week before, and it was like I'd never seen it before in my life.

I went back and read the revise and resubmit email from the editor who'd read it, to reground myself in the changes she's looking for. I don't know that I needed to, because a big piece of me was nodding, saying "yeah yeah yeah." Okay, I'd read it a bunch of times before and had already started the revision.

Still I didn't quite have my head where it had been.

So I started reading. I figured the edits would come, which they did.

The advantage of having that time away is it does create a very useful distance. I could read the story more like a reader would, which helps me see what information I'm giving or withholding. When I write the story, it's playing out in my head. I'm seeing through the characters' eyes and describing what's happening to them. This kind of thing makes it easy to leave out important information. Sure, I feel what they do, but do I describe it so someone else understands?

The downside is I miss the dreamthink (which I've talked about before here and here). The dreamthink allows me to swim in the story and not have to, well, work at it so hard. I dream at night about my characters. I wake up in the morning with the story spinning in my head. Ideas for it pop into my head throughout my work day. It's kind of like part of me is running a subroutine.

Unfortunately, to extend the analogy, that subroutine absorbs a lot of disk space. I find that when I'm heavy into dreamthink, I don't have a lot of brain power for much else. Sometimes I think that I'm so weighted in right-brain, hey-we-got-no-rules, wow-man, everything-is-beautiful activity that the left brain stuff gets rusty. Pulling out my logic and math feels more difficult. Also employing those extrovert skills.

I can't really be in dreamthink and be around people. Not counting David, of course. Though he'll occasionally point out I haven't spoken aloud in hours. That's why, when on a family visit, I don't even try.

So yes, Sapphire did look strange. But, like picking up a book you started a while ago and set down, after a few pages the story drew me in again. I'm about 10% through the revision now.

It feels good to get in the swim again.

Breathing Water

This is from Valentine's Day. Love this dramatic window of sunset. There's probably better ways of photographing the sun dead on like this, but clearly that knowledge is not mine.

Alas. Still on my list to take a photography class.

Not more important than writing my novel at this time, however.

So, after two days of being full-time writer girl, I haven't written more than I would on a normal day. I figure if I write about 1,000 words in two hours on a normal day when I also work the day job eight hours, then with six hours of writing time, I should be able to write 5,000 words.

Yes, yes -- I know the math comes out to 3,000 words, but I have this dream that the block time will make the word count expand in this glorious exponential way. See, if I could write 5,000 words a day, then a five-day work week would give me 25,000 words, which means I could draft a 100K novel in a month. Give me another month to revise and that would be excellent productivity.

What? You already knew I was a dreamer!

Anyway, I'm not coming close to 3K words, much less 5K. But I am finding that the New Novel is coming together in my head in this most marvelous way.

See, I've been bemoaning (mostly to myself) that I haven't yet written the truly complex novel I want to write. I want to have written Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel's Avatar (which means I would have written Kushiel's Dart and Kushiel's Chosen, too, then brilliantly capped the trilogy with Avatar). I want to have written A.S. Byatt's Possession or Margaret Atwood's Cat's Eye or Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game & Speaker for the Dead.

And I have this idea that, in order to write books like that, you have to be able to dreamthink them for long periods of time. Like diving into the lake and living underwater in the mermaid city until you learn to breathe there.

At any rate, that's what's happening for me now. Though I spend a fair amount of time staring at the screen and not typing, I am learning to breathe. And this novel is taking shape.

Deep breath.

Dreamthink

I like this, when the sun is rising opposite the Sandias and first hits the peaks, highlighting them with gold on snow.

Lately I've been doing a new thing in the mornings. Not on purpose. In the last few years, since we started getting up early to exercise, and since we haven't been exhausted and sleep-deprived, I sometimes awake before the alarm.

This is unusual for me. I mentioned before that I'm not a morning person and really had to train myself to wake up early to write. When I was younger, I'd sleep through the alarm clock. I'd sleep through phone calls. I had to be dragged from sleep and it took forever for my brain to engage.

So, for me to awake before the alarm - sometimes as much as 45 minutes before - is a new experience for me. I lie there in bed savoring the warmth, the comfort, David's sleeping form next to me, and dreamthink.

This is how I'm thinking of it. My mind wanders through the story I'm working on and I kind of dream about it, kind of fantasize. It's probably Stage 1 or 2 sleep. I'm betting if we hooked me up to an EEG then, it would show spindle waves. Which is appropos of nothing.

What is neat for me, is this has become plotting time, in a lovely, effortless way.

When I wrote Obsidian, I started kind of from this state. It was a rainy Saturday morning in April. David had gotten up early to attend a seminar I blissfully did not have go to. I slept a long time after he left, as this was back in the exhausted & sleep-deprived days. When I finally awoke, maybe around 10:30, I laid there and thought about the long, vivid dream I had. Then I went upstairs and wrote it down. I wrote for hours while the rain fell on the skylights.

Some think creativity comes from the subconscious, welling up from deep within. And the subconscious can only really be heard when the conscious mind, with all her lists and timetables, is quieted.

Dreamthink.