Art or Smut?

The fire near Los Alamos (the Las Conchas fire, officially) is confined enough now to look like a giant train, steaming ahead on the horizon. I hope it gets where it's going soon.

Last week, I received the quarterly newsletter from the Ucross Foundation. This is a really wonderful group that supports artists of many varieties. They sponsor a residency program where you can go stay for two to six weeks and, well, create full-time. I particularly like the Ucross take on this because the 8-10 residents at any given time can be writers, composers, photographers, painters, sculptors, etc.

Getting a residency is competitive and you have to pass several stages of admission. Once there, they give you a room to sleep in and a study. I had this amazing study that was like a library, with a little deck off of it. We were on our own for breakfast, which we pulled from this amazingly well-stocked kitchen. At night, we all convened for dinner and always fascinating conversation. For lunch, they would creep up outside your study door and leave a sack lunch. I never heard anyone come or go. It was like we were curing cancer.

This was an incredible experience for me and something I highly recommend to any writer.

This was the first time for me that my identity, and sole purpose for two whole weeks, was entirely about writing. It was a huge transformation for me and will always be an experience and memory I treasure.

They follow their former residents and include news of their careers in the newsletter. The five writers who had stories in Best American Short Stories, the gallery showings, the concerts. All pretty fabulous activities.

I wasn't in there.

And I'm not saying this as a Poor Me thing. The reason my news isn't in there is because I haven't sent it to them. So this got me thinking.

Why haven't I told them about Petals and Thorns, or the upcoming Feeding the Vampire and Sapphire? I don't think I'm ashamed. However, clearly I'm not proud.

Or I would have told them. Right?

I know some of this comes down to the eternal battle between literachur and genre. I noticed that a couple writers I know reported fairly minor journalistic publications for listing. I probably would do that, too, before I'd send out notices about my very naughty novellas.

It surprised me that I think this way and I haven't decided what to do about it. I did a little Twitter poll on the topic and most people said to own it, be proud and send in my info. One gal told me she wouldn't do it either, but then, she was still "festering" about the people in grad school. Something I totally get.

So, I haven't decided. Am I eternally seeking approval from the academics? Do I trumpet my work, which is selling far better than anything else I've ever written, and spread the good word about careers in digital-first publishing?

What would Anais Nin do?

The Tale of the Attack Cupcake

Thanks to the hysterically funny Victoria Dahl for this pic of me at the Harlequin party. Yes, this was well after midnight. I still like it.

I talked a little bit about the RWA Conference on Word Whores on Sunday. I'll keep filling in with the stories this week. But since I already started with the Harlequin party on Word Whores, I'll finish telling you all about that.

So, I headed over to the Harlequin party late. This is because I was at The Gathering through the PRISM ceremony. (Petals and Thorns took second place - alas no trophy for me! It was still a way fun party.) I dashed out of there, changed clothes, and went down to the taxi stand. The bell captain was loading another group of gals into a cab, so I waited. This pretty young woman walked up to me and asked if I was going to the Harlequin party and would I like to share a cab. We laugh, because we're both dressed in black and white, so the "going to the HQ Black & White Ball" is such an obvious flag. I am, of course, delighted to share the taxi ride.

She introduces herself: Nalini Singh.

Yeah - way famous, mega selling author Nailini. And, it turns out, nicest person in the world.

We chat on the ride. When we get to the Waldorf-Astoria, she sticks with me and introduces me to people. I got pulled away at one point and lost her. Later I ran into her again and I apologized for poofing. She laughs and says that's how these parties are. Then she asks if everyone is being nice to me.

Everyone was so great to me.

This party was AMAZING. The DJ played every girl power song you can think of while everyone danced barefoot or in our party-favor Harlequin footy socks. I had a mini-chocolate eclair with gold leaf on it. The coffee stations had bottles of liqueur lined up to be added to your cup at will. I drank flute after flute of champagne. There were stations manned by handsome young men where you could build your own ice cream cone or cupcake.

After lots of dancing, I decided I deserved a cupcake. I chose a red velvet cupcake and the handsome young man swirled cream cheese frosting on it with a pastry bag, then added my choice of chocolate shavings. It was a thing of beauty.

Proudly I carried it, and my champagne up to this balcony area. There I see Candy Havens. We hug. We chat. I feel my plate wobble. We both watch my special cupcake tumble from the plate and splat, icing-down, on the carpet.

We start to giggle. Yeah, who invited us to the fancy party?

I recover and reach to pick it up, but even as I do, this woman facing away from us, taking a photograph, takes a step back to position herself. Candy and I watch in impotent horror as her stiletto heel impales the crumpled cupcake, then rides off with her as she strides away.

We totally lost it. Gasping with laughter, we are unable to stop her, to tell her. She disappears into the crowd.

And, of course, because we were laughing so hard, I hadn't picked up the frosting splat before another bare-footed guest stepped squarely in it.

Alas.

Oh, and I did get another cupcake. After I cleaned up the first.

I sat down to eat it.

Turn, Turn, Turn

Yeah, it's that time of year again. The time when grown women camp out on the living room rug and play with ribbons, hole-punches and silk flowers.

Being a writer is a pretty good gig.

Last night I assembled these, so I can ship them off today. No jump drives this time - just little bubble bottles, which is fun. And considerably less expensive, especially considering I've got 240 of the little cuties. (I was going to call them "suckers" and changed my mind.) The labels also say that Sapphire is coming soon.

It ended up being a family effort. David helped me wrap the labels around the tubes and attach the ribbons. At one point he informed me there is no such thing as an incorrect job, only unique ones. The kitties helped, too. If you get one with a ribbon that looks a bit gnawed on, well, that makes it extra special.

Zip didn't help because there was a thunderstorm in the movie we watched, so he had to take cover.

It's funny thinking about that Petals and Thorns has been out for nearly a year. July 13 is her one-year birthday. Last year, the RWA convention was a month later (actually this year is a fluke and is occurring a month early) and so I was there about two weeks after Petals and Thorns released. Once there I thought, golly gee whiz, I should have done some promo, but it flat out didn't occur to me.

Part of is was that I didn't get my cover until about a week before the release date, so it would have been tight.

But I also think that I didn't really value this little book. It wasn't a Big 6 book deal. It wasn't one of my novels. It certainly didn't compare to what some of my friends were going to convention with.

Comparisons - such invidious things.

Now, a year later, I've seen how well Petals and Thorns has done. The reviews, the private messages, the sheer enthusiasm of the readers - well, it's all been just lovely.

So this will be my last big push for her and it's really mostly to scatter rose petals for Sapphire's debut. Hopefully Petals and Thorns will win some prizes this year, receive her tiara and have her promenade down the cat walk.

It's been a good year.

Beaked Yucca Lessons

Update on the yucca flowering:

Not so much?

If you haven't been following along with the Blooming of the Rescue Yucca, it started sending up a spire here and was much bigger here. I should have done an update last Monday, but I clearly had important ranting to do about appreciating the role of serendipity and chance in life.

So, you'd think there would be actual flowers by now, that there would be fragrant blooming. After all, it's been weeks and weeks. Surely that's enough time and effort? But no - the buds are covered with some kind of sticky stuff that the bugs seem to like. It's all alien-looking and kind of Invasion of the Bodysnatchers.

The moral here is obvious.

Not all stages of growth are pretty. Things progress on their own schedule.

It always seems like a long time, when you're waiting for the blossoms.

A few of my own flowers opened this weekend, though. Ellora's Cave is making an offer on a short story tentativley called Feeding the Vampire. That's right - it's my Post-Apocalyptic Erotic Vampire story.

What?

Hey - I don't tell the dream faeries what stories to send.

Also, Petals and Thorns finalled in another contest - More Than Magic - for best novella! I'm so pleased to see P&T getting some love.

I don't even mind the little bugs.

PRISM Final

You'll note this trophy has someone else's name on it. That's because I haven't actually WON. But Petals & Thorns is a finalist in the 2011 PRISM awards for Best Erotica and Best First Book. I'm so delighted and thrilled.

And I really want one of these trophies.

Pretty.

Shiny.

And congrats to Marcella, for finalling with Enemy Within for Best Futuristic. She might also be up for Best First Book. If she knows what's good for her, she won't get her dirty fingerprints on MY trophy!

Petals & Debates

I'm on the road again. Well, on the air, really.

At one time, I traveled pretty much nonstop. Like one to two weeks out of every month-type nonstop. I've gotten spoiled since that project was canceled. It felt traumatic to pack up and leave home for this two-week stint in New England.

Alas.

I'm hoping for some good photos. And pithy observations. Hey, it could happen.

Meanwhile, there have been interesting developments with Petals & Thorns. It was reviewed on Dear Author. I was simply thrilled. This is a major site - one I really like and respect, for the honesty of the reviews. Janine, the reviewer, only gave it a C+, because she was bothered by some of the aspects of the story. She talked about her reactions in depth and it stimulated great discussion. I loved having this kind of thoughtful review.

In turn that stimulated another thoughtful post on the topic.

I commented briefly on the first and really wanted to on the second. I might still. But so many reviewers complain that author commenting has a chilling effect on reviews.

Still, many of the issues raised are those that prompt me to write these stories, to explore these power issues and darker emotions. I feel a bit, what, deprived that I can't leap into the discussion.

We'll see how long I last.

Unreal Books and Sales Figures

Our spring here is being a lion one minute and a lamb the next. The grape hyacinths bloom in serene splendor even as the wind whips away the patio furniture cushions.

Yesterday I went to this costume shop to get a few things to supplement the RT wardrobe. I went in Saturday and the gal said most of her stuff was at home and she'd bring in possible pieces and meet me with them on Sunday. When I got there yesterday, she had a friend there waiting to meet me. I'd explained I'm a writer, about the RT Booklovers Convention and the costume balls. In the course of introducing me, the shop owner said "And you write real books, too, not those ebooks, right?"

I said I write both. Technically true.

It amuses me, though, that I've now sold more copies of my unreal ebook, Petals and Thorns, than were ever printed of my real book, Wyoming Trucks, True Love and the Weather Channel. I know it will still take time for the concept of ebooks to permeate through the population. The shop owner also asked me to bring in photos of the convention and, since she already had my card, I told her that I'll be posting photos all week, if she wants to look at my blog. She said she'd have to get someone to show her how to do that.

Meanwhile I flipped through my alumni magazines for my sorority and my alma mater last night. I might be a few months behind. Both magazines are glossy, full of rah-rah articles and hopelessly boring. They seemed to focus on things that I simply don't think about much. Such different worlds we can live in now.

I know that people will adjust their ideas about what a "real" book consists of. They already are. Over and over I see people comment online that they received an ereader for a gift, weren't sure about it at first and now love it.

I haven't shared stats on Petals & Thorns in a little while. The numbers keep going up, which continues to astonish me. Each month I open my royalty statement expecting a crash like back in October or January. But no.
As you can see from the percentages, Fictionwise has sold the most copies. It looks like All Romance eBooks and Loose Id are neck and neck, but that's a bit of artifact - most of those Loose Id sales were back before October. In fact, all sales through October were Loose Id's. The All Romance sales were after that. It will be interesting to see what happens from here!

Posting will be sporadic this week, but I'll try to throw up photos, at least, from the convention.

I Feel Sparkly

The RT BookLovers convention is coming up next week in Los Angeles.

I know - already! April used to seem *really* far away. So, I'm getting my little act together. This year I'm signing at the Book Expo on Friday, from 4pm- 6pm. How does one sign an electronic book? An excellent question and one I worked on to answer.

The way the eBook Expo works - and yes, it's still a separate event from the "real" book fair on Saturday. It will be interesting to see if they're separate next year - is that the convention is using a third-party reseller to sell the ebooks. This is pretty much how it works at all book fairs and conventions. Usually a local bookseller is asked if they'd like to handle sales. The bookseller orders books for the authors, people go around and pick up books from the authors' tables, chat, get a signature if they like, then queue up to pay. The money runs through the store's accounts and they get a piece, the convention gets a piece, a charity might get a piece. And so forth.

For the RT Expo, they're using All Romance eBooks as their reseller. Authors will have download codes that readers can pay for, then take online and download the version of their choice. Sounds like a great system, right? Well, not for me because my publisher, Loose Id, says they won't work with a third-party reseller. Seems odd to me because Petals & Thorns is available from All Romance eBooks and they sell the hell out of it, actually. But Loose Id says they've had problems in the past with that set-up, so no download love for me. The very helpful RT folks said that authors in my position just burn their books to a CD and sell it that way.

I thought, who the hell uses CDs anymore? My new laptop doesn't even have an optical drive (no drawer for CDs or DVDs).

So I bought jump drives! Pink ones.

I also have other responsibilities to distribute swag, as all the toys and sparklies handed away at conventions are fondly called. The Word Whores are giving away a basket. We also have a table on Promo Lane. Plus little gatherings. I needed things to give away.

So I hit Michael's yesterday. I bought rose stickers to put on the jump drives, and little bouquets of silk roses to tie the jump drives to book marks I can sign. Extremely pleased with myself, I came up with a collapsible "basket" for our giveaway, so that the lucky winner can actually pack it and take it home. I'll post a photo of the complete basket next week, once I have everyone's swag for it. I also picked out table dressing for the signing and the Expo, and all sorts of Word-Whores and Petals & Thorns themed pretty things.

At the counter, the cashier asked me if it was all for my wedding.

I can just picture this wedding I would have, at this stage in my life, where I'd decorate with black tulle, red roses, sequins and magic wands.

Oh yeah - and you would wish you were invited, too.

At any rate: Behold my book!

All Jeffe, All the Time

This is Deliverance, by Manuel Nuñez. The same artist who did Strait is the Gate, which I mentioned previously.

Looking him up, I've discovered he does commissioned portraits, so now I've got this whole fantasy spinning about how I'll take money from my first wildly successful contemporary fantasy novel and have a portrait done.

Hey - a girl can dream.

At any rate, I'd had an image in mind of a painting of his I *thought* I'd seen, that looked like a woman laid out for a funeral, but I didn't find it in his gallery. (On the other hand, I see the piece I own has gone up considerably in value, so I'm feeling all nifty about that.) And then I see Elizabeth Taylor passed, so an image of a lovely woman resting in peace seems all fraught today.

My point is: I'm giving up the Jennifer Paris alter ego.

I know, I know. She was with us such a little time. We hardly knew her.

It was just over a year ago that I announced I'd use Jennifer Paris for my Loose Id erotic novella, Petals and Thorns. March 4 of 2010, actually, and now I'm feeling all astonished that it's been that long. I was all set to type something like "six months ago." Tempus fugit and all that.

At any rate, in conversations with the lovely Angela James over my contract for Carina Press, she pointed out that if I intend to use Jennifer Paris as an author name, then I should have her as a social media identity.

Angela is quite savvy about social media, I think. Her blog posts and challenges are frequently cited. She's all over twitter. And she's really a terrific person to work with. She has emailed with me, answering my questions with genuine friendliness. In an aside, the contracts/legal guy at Harlequin headquarters is also really warm and friendly. I'm already so impressed with this corporate climate. All of this makes me think they know something about creating a virtual community.

So, I've bantered back and forth with Angela on Twitter long before this. And with my fabulous new editor, Deb Nemeth. They know me there by my twitter handle, @jeffekennedy. In fact, I was pretty sure the Carina gig would be a go, because I saw Deb started following me on twitter a couple of weeks before I got the actual phone call. Some of that was to see if I'm psycho, I think. Fortunately I managed to fake that well enough not to set off any alarm bells. I would be very carefully composing tweets for a while, thinking through the potential impacts, then I'd forget myself and go off on riffs with someone and - oops.

It's a good argument for just being yourself on social media - cuz you'll forget and do it anyway.

I told Angela I was doing the "Jeffe Kennedy writing as Jennifer Paris" thing and she said no, no, no. Actually she said it's not the same thing at all. Since I really don't want to "flesh out" Jennifer Paris and tweet or blog as her (she was only a cardboard cut-out anyway), I decided to retire her.

Besides, there's also now a transvestite porn star with that name. I don't have to tell you that link is absolutely NSFW (not safe for work), do I? Yeah, click at your own risk.

So, there you have it. Jennifer Paris is officially a one-off. Goodbye, darling - it was fun while it lasted.

Now I'm All Jeffe, All the Time.

Let's get this party started.

Bulan Lapar

Okay, I know that's not really how you say it.

My friend on Twitter, my kawan, @Arzai is Malaysian. She's read Petals and Thorns, which gives me such a kick, that this lovely woman all the way in Malaysia has read my story. She kind of shakes her head at my enthusiasm and says that she's certain many people in Malaysia have read it, that Malaysia, after all, is a very big place. But she's the one I know about and I get all pleased thinking about it.

Last night she was teaching me Malay words and phrases on Twitter. I asked her for full moon (bulan penuh), since I knew this would be my morning post. I then asked if Hunger Moon would be bulan lapar, since she'd already taught me that "lapar" is hungry. She didn't think that would be right. Then she came back and asked what "Hunger Moon" means.

I had to explain that it's not really English, either. That the full moon names are English translations of Native American concepts. In this case, the moon itself isn't hungry, but that this is the moon that's full during the time of hunger. It's still deep winter here, I told her, and though spring is coming, it will be a while before the plants grow again. This is the time when stores grown thin.

She said she'd learned something and I realized what a cultural difference that is. Even though our replete grocery stores keep us fed year-around now, we still have those underlying concepts, from our frontier ancestors and native neighbors, that winter is a time of privation. Something those in the tropics don't experience in the same way.

So, here's to the Hunger Moon, that rises over the mountains in Santa Fe and the beaches in Malaysia.

And to the ways we connect, great and small, across our little world.

Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Karma

Okay, I'm going to take a leap and say something that no one will like or agree with.

Oh, wait - I do that all the time.

Anyhoo...

I don't think book pirates are such a big deal.

Yes, pirates offer Petals & Thorns for free download - I've seen the links from Google Alerts. No, I don't go look at them. I don't send take down letters. I don't mention it on Twitter or really give it much thought at all.

This is why:

I think I've said before here, that if I were asked to put a name to my religious/spiritual affiliation, I'd say I am a Taoist. I believe in individual responsibility, that we reap what we sow, that what goes around comes around. Everything is about the exchange of energy, the natural balance of the universe.

Money is only a symbol, really. Our paper and electronic dollars in the US are based on gold. (Yeah, I know - not so much anymore. We won't go there.) Gold is pretty; it makes for nice jewelry, but really it has no intrinsic value. Gold won't keep you alive in a blizzard. However, because we all agreed at some point in time that gold is nifty stuff, you could trade some of your gold to live in a warm hut someone else built and cook some meat from a rabbit someone else killed over a fire burning wood someone else cut.

Of course you could go out and do all these things yourself: you could cut wood, build a hut and stack firewood next to it. You could kill and clean your rabbit and cook it over the fire (or your carrots, whatever). If you don't have time to do all that, or if you really suck at snaring bunnies or digging up carrots, you can trade with someone else. Over time, we substituted tokens in lieu of direct trade: I'll give you this piece of gold (or vial of salt or packet of saffron) which you can give to someone else for whatever they have that you want.

So, for a storyteller, someone gives us tokens so we can keep fed and housed while we sit at home and make up stories.

Yes, I hear you now. If people steal your stories, then you can't keep fed and housed. It's much easier, I freely admit, for someone like me who's getting a pile of gold tokens for other work I do. I don't depend on those stories to keep me alive yet.

The way I think of it is, money is just a stand-in for the exchange of energy. A balance of their efforts and mine. If someone downloads my story, reads it and loves it, then I believe that they do pay me. They send little happy feelings of gratitude out into the universe for me. Can I quantify this? Of course not. Is it still valuable to me? Yes yes yes.

I believe that we all know, on some visceral or spiritual level, what we owe to other people. And I believe we're driven to repay it, on whatever level we can. Sometimes it's a pay-it-forward thing. The good feelings I generate in one person gets passed on to someone else, who then passes it along. I get paid in thousands of ways in all the tiny blessings of life.

Are there jerks out there who just take? Of course there are.

But, I've learned in life, as I'm sure most of you have, that people will do nasty stuff to us that we may never see justice for. I've had my share of people undermining me, stabbing me in the back, what have you. I've been involved in court cases where I paid money to people who didn't deserve it, simply to extricate myself from the situation. We all have.

And we all have to find a way to let that stuff go, or it poisons us.

I believe in Karma. I trust that the universe will take care of it. One of the people who's wished me the most ill in this world is a miserably unhappy person. It's sad, but I also think that's what happens.

We all get back what we put out into the world. I truly believe that. The best part is, the universe tracks this for me, so I don't have to.

I just sit in my little hut and write the stories.

Private Rejections

Why are winter sunsets so much more dramatic? Must have to do with layers of air and lots of moisture.

The fabulous and funny Tawna Fenske has a post up today about stretching her, um, horizons by reading Petals and Thorns. I'm so pleased she enjoyed the story. Quite a few people now have read Petals and Thorns as their first real foray into erotica. I feel like the wild friend who convinces everyone to do tequila shots and enter the wet t-shirt contest.

I can live with that.

Yesterday another writing friend told me that, when her first book was published, her own mother gave it three stars on Amazon. That's three out of five, for those not glued to Amazon stats. My friend said her mother had wanted to be a writer when she was younger, but gave up. She suspected jealousy was at work and she's likely right.

Still, it gives lie to the idea that we can run around shouting that our mother loved the book so it must be a best-seller.

Rejection is part of a writer's life as much as sitting down and assembling words. It's the nature of the business, from newbie to best-seller. Joyce Carol Oates even mentioned this in her incredibly moving essay Personal History, published in the December 13 issue of the New Yorker. (Here's the link to the online edition, but you have to subscribe or purchase the issue to read it, which is well-worth it, I think.) The essay describes her husband's death after nearly 46 years of marriage. This bit was an aside, just a descriptor of their relationship, but it struck me:

In our marriage, it was our practice not to share anything that was upsetting, demoralizing, or tedious, unless it was unavoidable. Because so much in a writer's life can be distressing - negative reviews; rejections; difficulties with editors, publishers, book designers; disappointment with one's own work, on a daily or hourly basis - it seemed to me a good idea to shield Ray from this side of my life as much as I could. For what is the purpose of sharing your misery with another person, except to make that person miserable, too?

She goes on to explore the ways she needed him as a wife, not as a writer. I remembered this when my friend told me about her mother giving her three stars. The people in our lives don't always understand the pain of rejection - even the moderate pain of a meh review from someone who should be blindly enthusiastic.

I've stopped talking about my rejections and set-backs with anyone but my close writing friends. To them, I can say "100 pages!" or "full request!" and they know my excitement. I can tell them I got a pass and they ask if it was a good one, a bad one or stock. They know how to console me and kick me to keep going.

People not involved in this arcane world, much as they might sympathize, can't really get into how it all works. And I've come to think they shouldn't have to. They come back to us with suggestions like maybe we should write another book or, hey! self-publish. They reassure us that getting published is really hard and maybe not for us. One friend's husband suggested that she should add in more about what people are wearing and make it sexy.

We know they mean well. We do. We love them for it even as we're choking back the explanations about the many ramifications of self-publishing or which genres discuss fashion and which don't.

It's just better not to go there in the first place because the thing that is fundamentally difficult to explain is that rejection is part of our Opportunity Cost.

You didn't know I knew fancy economics terms, did you?

Okay, it's a fake-out. This the only one I know, besides supply & demand, and I just learned it yesterday. A writer was talking about how she was multi-published and didn't want to brag, but had received very few rejections. A glance at her pub list shows her work is with e-presses, and not the top tier. I'm not saying they're not selective. All reputable e-presses have a selection process. I'm saying they're not as selective as the Big Six. They're not a selective as 99% of the agents out there. When you're going for bigger stakes, the opportunity cost is higher. That means you get more than a few rejections.

It might mean you get a trainload of rejections.

That's the part I find hard to explain. I have a healthy helping of ego and I want the brass ring. I'm willing to keep tossing my work into the ring with NYC's hungriest lions, even if it means watching them slice it into shivering bits. I'm willing to pay that price.

The people who love me can't stand to watch the show. I don't blame them a bit.

And that's okay. I can keep the misery to myself. It'll make sharing the triumphs even better.

Oh Frabjious Day!

Another view of yesterday's sunrise. This morning's was also lovely, but I was on a business call, alas, and could not immortalize it.

You'll have to imagine it.

Today is also a banner day for Petals and Thorns. I received my monthly author statement of royalties earned from Loose Id. I've now made enough to qualify for their Published Author Network (PAN) status. Nice threshold to cross for me.

Earlier this month I posted my statistics for Petals & Thorns so far. So you might look at that first, since I'm just adding to the summary here. Let's play Old Spice man - go look at that graph.

Now look at this one.


Now look at that one.

The source of the amazing jump in December? Fictionwise sales.

Right - who knew?

Fictionwise sales accounted for 86% of my December reported sales. Amazon showed up for the first time, too, with 10% of sales. Sony was another first-time show with 3% of sales. Loose Id only produced 2% of sales.

(Yeah, I know that's 101% - I rounded, okay?)

Those of you keeping score at home will note that last month's big seller, All-Romance ebooks, did not have any sales this month. I suspect that this has to do with when they report sales, rather than real-time sales statistics. I'm betting the big surge in Fictionwise represents sales over possibly the last six months.

It will be interesting to see.

I realized in writing yesterday's post that I consider post-winter solstice to be the start of the new year. Probably my pagan ancestors whispering in my ear.

At any rate, this feels like a fine start to the new year.

Surprise

One of our morning visitors.

The trio of coyotes came by again, at almost exactly the same time. Tomorrow I'll have my camera ready and try to get all three. They look like a mom and two teenage pups. Completely fearless. Beautiful and yet...

It puts me in mind of this:

Deliver my soul from the sword,
My darling from the power of the dog.

That's from Psalms, but it came to my attention as the flyleaf quote in Thomas Savage's The Power of the Dog. Really wonderful book, if you've never read it.

I like that as an analogy - the power of the dog in our lives, the shadow that lurks, that we close the doors to. We turn away and think about other things.

So, here's an other thing.

Author Jim C. Hines often interesting statistics on his blog, about his publishing history, etc. This is an fascinating one that he cross-posted to SF Novelists about the myth of the Overnight Success. If you haven't looked at it, it's well-worth the time. Inspiring, even.

In that spirit, I thought I'd share some statistics on on Petals & Thorns. (Like Jim, I'm a graph and stats geek, too. Apologies if you're not one of those.)

This shows my sales since the release day in July. As you can see, there were a lot of initial sales, which then tapered off. I pretty much expected that. The numbers were higher than I'd anticipated for a first-time author in the genre, no name-recognition, etc. These were all sales through Loose Id. When I saw my October statement, I though, eh, it's run its course.

So, what happened in November? All Romance Ebooks started selling it. Quite the sales jump there. They were kind enough to give it a top rating and a staff pick, which I'm sure helped a great deal. You can see my royalties per book aren't quite as high with the reseller - it's about 20 cents per book less - but the higher traffic is certainly worth it.

I don't know how this system works, if Loose Id typically sells a book exclusively for four months and then offers it to All Romance. My statement from Loose Id also includes columns for other resellers: Lightning Source, Fictionwise, Amazon, Sony eBooks and Barnes & Noble. It will be interesting to see if they are gradually added.

At any rate, I'm close to making RWA's criteria for published author status. Nice return for my little 26K erotic novella. And replete with irony, I know. Petals & Thorns might get me there where my essay collection and two novels have not. I'll take the promotion, however.

One thing I've learned, and as Jim Hines' graph illustrates, too - the road to our goals seldom unfolds the way we think it will. Every success is another step, another brick in building the palace.

It's only in fairy tales that wishes make palaces appear overnight.

In life, we build them through persistence and endurance. Always guarding against the power of the dog.

Conditioning

Yesterday was a fun day. Release day is kind of like a birthday, where everyone is nice to you all day long.

Here's my celebratory martini at the end of the day with my Twitter pals.

I toasted, then took it out on the patio to enjoy. It was a warm evening. Hot, in fact. Like mid-90s hot.

I know to most of you in the East and South, that's not so bad. But for us at 6,300 feet, it's unusually warm. After the sun set, we watched Daybreakers and by bed time it was still 85 in the house and I realized I didn't feel good, I had been so warm for so long. So we did something we've never done before.

We turned on the air conditioning.

I know, I know - this is not a big deal for 99% of you out there. But David and I both grew up in the West, at fairly high altitudes, where air conditioning is not that necessary. In fact, none of the previous three homes we've shared even had air conditioning.

Plus, I generally don't like air conditioning. I like fresh air, natural breezes and bird song. I don't like cold air blowing on me so much. I resist having the ceiling fans on, even, for that reason.

So, we turned on the air conditioning and closed the windows. Let me tell you: that cool air filling the house was a sweet benediction. We're lucky to have an energy/space efficient house, so the cooling was palpable. I immediately felt tons better, which just confirmed that I'd really gotten overheated.

I know air conditioning is a luxury. People lived for thousands of years without it, but they also got sick and died young. I know people bemoan the loss of the evening porch society, when everyone sat outside to cool in the evenings. Now they're sealed inside, with their tvs and their interwebs.

But is sure is nice to have when you want it!

Release Me

According to the Blogging Handbook for Writers, since today is release day for Petals & Thorns, I must blog about that and only that.

Which means I have to save the story of my psycho eye doctor for tomorrow.

Some of us were getting a bit punchy on Twitter yesterday, reviewing the "rules" for how to behave on release day.

1. Must blog about it. @nwfoodie cited the Blogging Writer By-Laws, paragraph 291, sub paragraph J, section Z.

2. I should "SQUEE" on twitter every thirty minutes, the equivalent of squealing in excitement.

3. Tweet OMG! every hour, on the hour. (For Oh My God! if you don't know.)

4. Use ALL CAPS for the ENTIRE DAY. Preferably with the phrase BUY MY BOOK!

5. Generally drive everybody nuts.

Okay, maybe somewhere in the middle of that is some truth. I've actually unfollowed people who were this bad. I kid you not.

So far, though, today is really fun. Lots of Twitter friends are wishing me Happy Release Day and announcing how they just bought it. I've decided not to mention it on Facebook, since I have clients on there and this one goes beyond the pale. Now I get to be nervous, wondering how everyone will like it...

Thus, with no further dithering. Here's the official Loose Id plot summary. (Look! I'm on the home page! SQUEE!)

In exchange for her father’s life, Amarantha agrees to marry the dreadful Beast and be his wife for seven days. Though the Beast cannot take Amarantha’s virginity unless she begs him to, he can and does take her in every other way. From the moment they are alone together, the Beast relentlessly strips Amarantha of all her resistance.

If Amarantha can resist her cloaked and terrifying husband, she gains his entire fortune and will be allowed to return to her family and a normal life. But the Beast seduces her at every turn, exposing, binding, tormenting, and pleasuring Amarantha until she no longer knows her own deepest desires.

Increasingly desperate to break the curse that chains his humanity, the Beast drives Amarantha past every boundary. But her desire for a normal life may jeopardize the love that will save them both.

Yes, it's Super Sexy. Don't feel like you have to read it if this kind of thing is past your own boundaries. In fact, Loose Id includes a little Reader's Warning on there, just so you know what you're getting into.

However, should you wish to read, I know a little secret: I don't see it on the site, but Loose Id's Editor-in-Chief, Treva Harte, recently posted that all July customers at Loose Id will be entered in a drawing to win an iPad.

SQUEE! OMG!!!

Blood and Roses

Finally a cover for Petals and Thorns!

This is my little erotic take on Beauty and the Beast coming out with Loose Id on July 13. The link only takes you to a placeholder right now. I almost waited to post the cover until people can at least pre-order and then I thought, hey, I can't not post the cover as soon as I get it.

I think they did a great job. I love that you can see the Beast's claws and that the artist, Cris Griffin, took my suggestion of a bloody rose. It works out especially well because Robin of Robin Ludwig Design made me business cards with a very similar image (ah, the consistent world of stock photography). She also adapted it for me to make a third "doorway" on my website for the erotica stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah - I'll get that up any day now, here.

And if any of you are wanting a high resolution image of the cover, I'll put it there. Blood and roses. Flowers seem to be a big part of my life lately. I'm not sure what that's about.

Full bloom days.

And Also Patience, Play and Naps

I spotted this blossoming prickly pear by accident.

I happened to look down from the bedroom window and the spot of butter yellow caught my eye. It was blooming away under a bushel, or rather, a sagebrush. It took a bit of clearing to get the photo. Now I feel like I need a special path around to the back of the house, so people can be sure to see it.

But, seen or not, appreciated or ignored, it blooms anyway.

A number of people commented on yesterday's post. Tara Lain told a great story about koi and cats and suggested we add the word "patient."

And, in the infinitely frustrating world of blog commenting, Kerry tried to comment, but was denied. She wanted to remind me that cats also know when to play silly games and when to take a nap.

That might seem self-evident, but it's easy to forget.

So as we finish out our Fridays, it's good to revisit what weekends are about. For many of us, the weekends are full of tasks. I know my To-Do List is long. I try to do laundry every-other weekend and clean the house on the intervening weekends. Last weekend, though, I was gone, so now I have three weeks of laundry to catch up on the same weekend as house-cleaning. We have guests coming next weekend, so there's no fudging that part. The garden is crying for attention. I have some publicity stuff to do for Petals & Thorns, coming out July 13.

And about 35K to write on the novel.

No, no, no - I know I won't do that. But it does hover pretty high on my mental To-Do list.

The things that don't end up on the list? Games, naps, nonsense. Even if we don't work corporate jobs, our families and friends often do. Weekends should be for play, too, not just catching up.

Or running in place.

Or bailing the sinking boat.

Wherever you might be with stuff.

Here's hoping you get to do something silly, catnip optional, and that you indulge in a nice nap.

I'm adding them to my list.

House Woman

No, I didn't take that picture. I wish!

I pulled it from here and I'm hoping no one will mind. Once I snap a picture of our own little house wren, I'll swap it out.

He or she - apparently the males and females look much the same - has been busily building a nest inside the cow skull hanging outside our front door. She goes in the top, (we'll just decide it's a she), through the cannula where the spinal cord would exit and has stuff the brain cavity with hair, grass and bits of floss pulled from the seams of the patio chair cushions.

Pretty styling actually.

At first I thought this was a bad idea. Disaster waiting to happen. But it turns out she knows what she's doing. House wrens will steal other birds' nests. She's tiny, but she's aggressive. She doesn't mind us coming and going and she tells Isabel off if she gets too close.

I like a bird who takes care of herself.

I finished and sent in my line edits for Petals and Thorns last night. That was the third and final editing pass. Publication date is July 13, if I haven't mentioned. When we first discussed the editing process, I made a joke to my Loose Id editor that it was amusing to me to contemplate editing on a BDSM novella. Like, would the hero's motivation be to tie her hands with rope at this point or would he use cuffs?

I thought it was funny.

But no. She didn't even bite. So I mentioned it to Allison, who didn't get why I thought it was funny, either. Now I know why. That's exactly what the editing process was like. Was it one breast or both, which means it should be plural. If he's busy with the one hand then he's only holding one shoulder so he can't release her shoulders. I swear - even UNM Press and Redbook didn't line edit this exhaustively.

Or maybe that's the beauty of getting galley proofs instead of a document marked with track changes. I miss my blissful ignorance.

Amusingly, many of the commas my content editor inserted, the copy editor removed. Comma placement comes down to a matter of opinion most of the time. Some people have very strong opinions on the topic. Me? Not so much.

At any rate, there I am, working my little tasks while the wren works outside my window. Bit by bit, adding to our creations.

Maybe I'm styling, too.

Irises and Impressionists

At last the iris are blooming. I notice everyone in our neighborhood has the yellow ones like this. I'm wondering if other colors don't do well in this soil. I'd like to try planting some others - perhaps a field of dark blue behind this blanket of yellow, but we'll see.

Many hybridized colors won't flourish in non-ideal soils and the flowers revert to the wild type. Pink hydrangeas in non-alkaline soils revert to blue, for example. Or in non-acidic soils - I forget which. If you want to grow pink hydrangeas, you'll have to look it up.

Yesterday I completed my second round of edits on the Loose Id novella, which is now called, forever and finally, Petals and Thorns. Beauty and the Beast was too close to other titles in their house and the big editors didn't like Love Lies Bleeding, as my direct editor and I picked out. They seemed to think it was kind of icky.

Alas.

So, Petals and Thorns it is, with a thank you to Allison for not only suggesting it, but essentially loaning it to me, since it's the name of the gaming website she's run for lo these many years.

This second round of edits was dead easy. Actually the first round of edits were quite straight forward and didn't require much brain-strain. This round was mainly approving comma-insertions and space-deletions. From time to time though, my editor quibbled over metaphorical word interpretations.

The one she really doesn't like? "She felt his eyes on her." My editor says that means his eyeballs would be on her, which is, naturally, not the feel we're going for. I personally don't believe a normal person would read it that literally, but I conceded and replaced with the suggested (and tepid) "gaze." She also argued with "the rose drew her eye," wanting that to be "gaze," also. I said no, to draw the eye to something is a perfectly established expression.

To me, this is the literary equivalent of representational art versus abstract art.

(We won't get into that this is a BDSM novella and arguably not all that full of ze arte. I'm talking a general principle here - stick with me.)

I'm full of visual art analogies since doing the studio tour the other day.

My mom's David loves representational art. He likes a landscape, preferably with European elements. He likes it to be what it it. My mom likes art that takes reality and turns it. The Impressionists were the first to really break away from the strict European representational art. This is Renoir's famous painting Bathing Woman, 1883. It's famous enough that I couldn't find an image of it without the watermark.

When I saw the original, it struck me that he'd painted her skin green. If you look at the shadows on her skin, they're all these blues and greens. So much so that it's unsettling up close. Standing back, it creates this amazing feel of young, lovely flesh and water. He gave us the impression, not the literal moment.

I think that's what the literalist readers/editors get into. They're focusing so much on the words, that they lose the overall impression. I'm not going to fight over it for my BDSM novella epub, but to have someone's eyes on you gives a different impression than their gaze. It's a level of intimacy to me.

But this is the soil I chose for this particular story and it will have to take on the characteristics of that place. It will become the color it needs to be.